Sunny Days Await

Over break, I lost nearly 10 pounds. Objectively, I’m just about as thin as I can get without looking underfed. I’m so used to hating what I see, though, that I still feel a compulsion to go to the gym, still have a twinge of regret every time I eat. Now that I’ve lost so much, though, I feel self consious about it. I’m constantly eating crap because it scares the shit out of me that my thighs don’t touch. Thighs are supposed to touch each other, that’s how female bodies work. 

I get suprised sometimes when I look in the mirror and a pretty girl looks back. It doesn’t seem to be my face; normally all I see are flaws, imperfections, features reminiscent of my father. Occasionally, though, I look  up and see a pretty okay-looking girl staring back. 

I hope I see her more often.